The Woman from Samaria & "Mr. Right"

By Harriet Devonne Batson

The Woman from Samaria

I try to get in a little Bible Study in every
day. The people in the Bible are likeable and
relateable because they are flawed. Jesus was a
teacher, and even though preaching is good and it is
exciting and it is very moving, it is not teaching.
Christians, I believe, must study God's Word.
I've noticed that when I attend Prayer Meeting and
Bible Study on Wednesday's, there is no
testimony. Either we run out of time or we are too
busy trying to pass a plate around. Testimony is
witness to the goodness of God. It is a sharing of
trials, hardships and tribulations (the test) and how
God, in his infinite grace, mercy and lovingkindness
brought you through it (the testimony). Sometimes it
is more of a witness to something one has seen or
experienced.

Once I went to a prayer retreat with the women of my
church. We were testifying and there were several
women eager to share, that would never dream of
standing before a church congregation and
speaking. Sunday Christians are too critical and
judgmental and these women were wobbly kneed
Christians, almost like infant Christians. Although
they were older than myself (I am always the youngest
at these types of events) they were just beginning
their walk with Christ and in need of a lot of
encouragement and support. One of the reasons the
retreats are so looked forward to, is that it
is minus a lot of the pretension (not all of it) that
seems to follow the suit wearers to church on Sunday
morning.

One of the women got up to give a testimony and it
was rather lengthy and sometimes hard to follow. I
just tried to stay with her the best I could and
practiced a little patience. She'd been married about
three times and wanted us to know that God never left
her throughout, although she left Him. Well she
finally finished and I made sure I spoke to her
afterwards to encourage her to keep praying and to
keep her head to the sky.

I had ridden over to the retreat with two other
ladies from my church. Two ladies for whom I had a
lot of respect. They were displeased with the length
and the boring nature of the sister's testimony. They
felt that one should be taught how to give a testimony
and if one hasn't been taught then they shouldn't get
up.

I didn't say anything I just sat in the back seat
and listened and thought. I felt what I thought was
anger, but I quickly dismissed it. I mean who am I to
become offended at something that one of these
Christian stalwarts said? These two ladies were
grooming me. They were teaching me how to be a
Christian and be female at the same time (I didn't
think one could the way women are treated in the
church. As if they are step-Christians or
something). They were my spiritual counselors. I
called on them when I was in need, or weak or had
questions or concerns. I can't possibly be in dispute
with them! But I am.

I didn't like the fact that these two sisters felt
as if they held some sort of authority on testifying.
I didn't like how they closed their ears and turned
their hearts off to the words of this woman. I don't
like how "bothered" these women became due to the lack
of structure in this woman's testimony.

I remember how raggedy and ignorant and defunct I
was when I came to God. I was crying and shaking and
emotionally out of wack so I couldn't have been easily
interpretable. I had on a street dress (that's all I
had to wear to church) and high heels. I had to have
looked a hot mess and God only knows what they said
about me as I stood before the church in my
form-fitting dress, wreaking of sin and retribution
trying to eek out a testimony as I surrendered all.
We all come to God the same way. We all have pasts
full of sin. We have all fallen short of the glory.
We are all seeking the Master's forgiveness and
purpose for our lives. We all come just as did the
woman from Samaria.

We are not made privy to her name only where she is
from. She may have been insignificant to the writer
of the book of John, but she wasn't insignificant to
Jesus. Jesus spoke with her.

The Pharisees were keeping up mess, as usual, of
which Jesus did not wish to be a part. So He left for
Galilee but en route He had to travel through
Samaria. Jesus was tired and thirsty so He sat down
beside a well. The Samaritan woman came to draw
water of which Jesus requested a drink.

This scripture has been preached to me before.
However, when men preach this lesson to me, there is
an uneasy and unnecessary emphasis on how many
husbands this woman had. That is but a small part of
this story. Jesus asked her to go and get her
husband. She told Jesus that she didn't have a
husband. Jesus told her that she was right and that
although she had previously had five husbands, the man
with whom she was now residing was not one of them.
(John 4: 17-18). She was shacking!

Jesus told her all about her past. He knew this
before He asked her to go and get her husband. There
are three things about the Samaritan woman:

1) She didn't lie to Jesus ("I don' t have a husband.").

2) She was a believer ("I know the Messiah is coming." John 4: 25).

3) She witnessed, or testified. ("Come! See a man...)

The Word says that many Samaritans from that town
believed in Him because of the woman's testimony (John
4:39). Samaritans and Jews didn't get along. No one
really got along with Jews in the Bible. It perplexed
Jesus' disciples that He was even wasting time talking
to a woman. But a Samaritan woman? A Samaritan woman
that testifies about the Kingdom and wins souls?!
This was a magnanimous national, cultural, racial and
spiritual accomplishment!

What if Jesus had deemed her unworthy to testify on
his behalf, you know, with her men and all? What if
He had said that she wasn't sophisticated enough to
call her self standing up talking about the goodness
of God? What if He had placed a time limit on her
testimony?

The saved and sanctified can sometimes run people
away from the church house. They tuck their pasts
deep back in the crevices of their closets and pretend
as if they were born saved. They don't like to talk
about their days of drinking, smoking, cussing,
adulterating and stealing, because they aren't those
people anymore and they just want to forget about
them. If one does that, then one is also burying the
testimony. People are not won to Christ because of
where they are, but where they've been.

God needs witnesses to talk about what He has
brought them out of. This provides encouragement and
obliterates doubt. One of the ladies in my church,
whom I am quite fond of, used to be a crack head and a
model. She's still very beautiful and one can't see
her past in her face nor on her body. But she
witnessed to what God had done for her and from where
he had brought her. Like it or not there are crack
heads in the church. This woman's testimony may
have touched someone.

I later went back and tried to get these women to
explain to me how only they seemed to know how to give
a testimony. I could tell they were a bit taken
aback, for normally, when we are hanging out I do
more listening than talking. But growing in the Lord
makes one bold. It opens your eyes and you are able
to see that there isn't one in that church house, from
the steps to the pulpit, bigger in the eyes of God
than are you. I am worthy and I have a testimony.
And it would be my pleasure and honor to testify on
what God can do in our lives.

Try to be humble in your faith, brothers and
sisters. Don't be so quick to judge and even quicker
to dismiss. When you get the chance, talk about God
and what He has done in your life and be honest!
The woman in Samaria was sent to teach us that there
is nothing we can hide from God. God knows our past
and he loves us anyway. She was sent to teach us that
when confronted with our past or some semblance of it
that we should not be ashamed and try to duck and
hide. She teaches us that our past makes up who we
are in the present and that God is concerned with
where you are right now. She came to teach us the
power of witnessing and testifying. If you have
become so upright that testifying is useless to you
then more than likely you are useless to God.

By Harriet Devonne Batson

I received the weirdest request the other day. Can you believe that I was commissioned to write a piece on Mr. Right.

ME?!?!?!?!?!?! WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?

I don't even have a man. I don't even have a dog (although I am thinking of getting a cat). Most of my Saturday nights are spent with calories and Saturday Night Live. All I have to show for Mr. Right is a lot of Mr. Wrongs and a graveyard full of failed, forgettable dead relationships.

Is there even such a thing as a Mr. Right? I don't know if I can do this. I mean, I am biased. What about my anger, bitterness, frustration, disappointment and disillusionment regarding the Black Man. Won't that impede my objectivity?

Why Lord are you asking me to do this?

Stop your whining child! If you want to know the answer seek it. Go to my Word, gather the information that you will need and produce that requested piece on Mr. Right. Where is your faith?

Yes Lord.

There has only ever been one perfect man -- Jesus. Mr. Right is not perfect. Mr. Right will have flaws, imperfections and shortcomings just like anyone else. He may come with baggage, children and needs. He might not have a lot of money or a fancy car or expensive clothing. There's a good chance he won't have an MBA, a corner office or a fancy title. Oh yeah, he won't have killer abs, his teeth may not be Denzel Washington perfect and his feet probably won't be pretty. He may snore and he may not always say the right thing and you may even have to help him with his sense of fashion on occasion. There are many things Mr. Right may never be. However, there is one thing every Mr. Right will always be: God-fearing.

As single Christian women we watch television and we read newspapers and magazines and we become sad and discouraged. We see horror story after horror story involving men and women. We are scared and fearful of our own men. This is not of God.

Lord please don't send me a crazy man. They are too hard to get out of your life. Lord please don't send me a violent man. He may take my life. Lord please don't send me a "down-low" man. He may riddle my life with pain and suffering.

You don't have to clog up the prayer lines with such foolishness. All that you have to do is ask the Lord to send you a Godly man, for a Godly man is temperate (Titus 2:2). Mr. Right will be temperate. Temperate means that he can take it in stride. Temperate means he doesn't sweat the small stuff. Temperate means that he is moderate or calm. This is how my grandfather was. My grandfather was my dream man. My grandfather seldom raised his voice. He never had mood swings and he never took out his frustrations on his Black Woman. He didn't do anything to the extreme which is the antonym of temperate. He was a mild-mannered and pleasant natured man. My grandfather was a God-fearing and Lord-loving man. My grandfather was a temperate man. Mr. Right is a temperate man.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T!!! How long has Aretha been leading our battle cry for that one? If I read another article in which the Black Man's disrespectful lyrics, mannerisms or behaviors are highlighted, I know that I am going to scream. If he is disrespectful then he is not the one because Peter teaches us that Mr. Right is respectful. Peter, in his letter, was trying to explain to the recipients how to be new creatures (Christians) in their new body (the Church) with their new doctrine (Jesus Saves). Peter has much to say about Christian life and duties. A Godly man will not call you out of your name -- ever. My grandfather never called my grandmother a bitch -- and she told me that! A Godly man will not intentionally hurt your feelings. A Godly man will not speak to you hatefully, or scornfully, or maliciously. A Godly man will not call you a bitch. Mr. Right is respectful.

If one more person throws the third chapter and the 18th verse of Colossians up in my face again I may break a piece of steel. I know that my God has instructed me to submit to my Godly husband. This is not hard to do. The only time that it becomes problematic is when you are married to a man who isn't Godly. God doesn't expect us to be submissive to just any man simply because he is a man. Absolutely not! Any man is not deserving of our submission -- only a Godly man. A Godly man will keep his hand in God's hand so that you may keep your hand in your husband's. But wait a minute!
"Wives be submissive" is only part of that text. It follows with: "Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them (1 Peter 3:19). Mr. Right is loving. He loves you. He is lovely. It is not hard for him to tell you and show you that he loves you. Neither his masculinity, his ego nor his homeboys will be a problem when it comes to him expressing his feelings or his love for you.
I have saved the best for last. This is my favorite attribute of a Godly Man. One night my girlfriend and I had a very heated discussion about the male's role. She said that a woman should not look for a man to do anything for her. I staunchly and loudly and passionately and vehemently disagreed. Black Women need to stop allowing Satan to cheat them out of their inheritance. We should stop letting Satan lie to us and tell us that we will just have to do it all by our selves. We are the only women that don' t expect anything. We need to stop listening to the world when it comes to Mr. Right. We are not emasculating or gold diggers or materialistic if we want a man to be a man. That is not what God said! This is what God says:

If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

~1 Timothy 5:8

The Bible is very clear on this. I am able to provide for my self. Who do you think has been doing it? I have a degree, a job and I pay my own way. That is how it is as it should be for I don't have a husband. But now when God does bless me with a husband, he will be a provider, just as the Word instructs him to.
That wraps it for me. Before I leave however, I must share this. Ain't no men in the church! I hear a lot of (older) women tell other (younger) women to go to church when they express their loneliness or confess their disappointment with men. The Black Church is 75% female. Go the Master's House to seek Him. May God continue to Bless and Keep you. And sisters, remember:

Do not give to dogs what is sacred,
Do not throw your pearls to pigs.
If you do, they may trample them under their feet,
And then turn and tear you to pieces.

~Matthew 7:6


Thank you,

Harriet Devonne Batson

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