Help! I Hate My Job!

Message for Rape Victims

Help! I Hate My Job!

I know you know the feeling. The alarm goes off, you press the snooze button. It goes off again. You press the button again. You do this two or three times before you face the fact that you have to get up and get ready to go to that place.

You know what place I am talking about. It is the place where you spend most of your time wishing that you were somewhere else. It’s your job. You have been working there for several months or even years. You dread it but can’t escape it.

Everyone knows you hate it. You tell anyone that will listen how much you can’t stand that place. But you stay because you have an "I hate it but..." thing going on. You hate it, but the money is good. You hate it, but all your friends work there. You hate it but the hours are great. You hate it but it allows you to take care of your responsibilities. You hate it, but it allows you put the Jones’s to shame. Whatever your reason is for not going on to greener pastures doesn’t matter. For right now, you are staying with your current occupation or company, so here are some tips to help you make it through another workday:

Pinpoint exactly what it is that you hate about your job. To your surprise, you may be able to do something about the things that bother you the most. If you can’t stand the person in the cube next to you, it is possible that you may find someone that would like to switch cubes with you.

Think about the things that you like about your job. After refocusing your thoughts about a situation, the situation may not change but the way you feel about it might.

Honestly assess your skills. If you just can’t put a positive spin on it, no matter how you look at it. If there are absolutely no actions possible that can be taken, then you need to take an inventory of what you bring to the table. After assessing your skills, you should consider on your own time, what other table you would like to sit at. After circulating your resume you may find that you could be happier in a different department within your current company or altogether at a different company.

Find non-work related activities to engage in. Remember, it is just a job. Unless what you do is the nearest and dearest thing to your heart, pursue interests that have nothing to do with your workplace. This will give you something else to think about besides how much you don’t like your job.

When you physically leave the building, mentally leave your job. Don’t think about the people or place if you don’t have to. If something happens during the day that makes you upset, don’t relive the moment by repeating the story over and over to others. Leave it within those walls. When you physically enter the buildings, mentally start your job.

You are not going to magically love your job, but you can at least cut down on the amount of times you press the snooze button in the morning.

By Kenya Abney

The outcome of the Kobe Bryant case is disturbing to me because somewhere in this country there is a rape victim that wants to press charges against their attacker but won’t. Bryant’s accuser deciding not to cooperate with the District Attorney raises a few questions. Is she refusing to cooperate because she was lying from the beginning? Does Bryant’s team have proof that shatters her story to pieces? Did she fold because of all the public humiliation and personal attacks from people that do not know her? Only the accuser and the accused know the truth. The both of them will probably take that to their graves. On a personal level, for a rape victim, the specifics of the Bryant case do not matter. How an accuser looking for justice is treated does matter.

There is someone that has been raped who has been trying to muster up the courage to say or do something about what has happened. They may have been following this case closely to gage what they should do. Each day, they may be retreating further and further into their own personal hell. The wrong message has been sent out to a rape victim. The message is that no one cares about you, and your life is as worthless and meaningless as your attacker has made you feel.

This miscellaneous rape victim wonders what she did that was so horrible that someone would violate her body and screw up her mind with one act. The person plays a mental tape pausing and rewinding every moment trying to figure out exactly what she did wrong. They may berate themselves for being in such a powerless position in the first place. They may even convince themselves that they deserved to be violated for being so stupid. The victims' thinking is so messed up that they may not recognize themselves. This person may want everything to go away. But, the recorder in their mind won’t let it. A new worthless feeling has crept into their bones. And, it won’t go away. This person may want someone or something to validate that they are an acknowledged being. They want to stop feeling like the shell of the person that they used to be.

This miscellaneous rape victim may decide to report what has happened; however they think about how other people’s perception of them can be used against them. Will their cousin think they are lying because they are a flirt? Sometimes, they show off their body, does that mean they asked to be violated? Will it come down to their word against the attacker? What if nobody believes the miscellaneous person? They have allowed themselves to relive the horror of being raped every time they tell someone what has happened. If justice does not prevail then they can become more fragile and broken. The idea of the world ridiculing and judging them is the last thing that rape victims want to experience since they are already doing it to themselves.

There is a person that has been raped. They won’t go to the police, or tell their family and friends what has happened. This female could be your sister, aunt or cousin. They need to know that regardless of what they decide to do, their life is worth far more than their attacker would like them to believe.

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